Was Jesus Good? Part 1

Was Jesus good? "Yes, of course, don't be silly!" I can hear Christians and non-Christians respond in kind. I've heard it so often. Even those who blatantly deny the Son of God's divinity tend to quickly hail the goodness of his teachings. Its like they want to demonstrate their open-mindedness and knowledge regarding the topic of Jesus the man. Yes, Jesus was one of histories greatest moral teachers, they say matter-of-factly. If it wasn't for Jesus, love, charity, and peace would have never gotten a foothold in a violent world full of selfish people. This, apparently, is common knowledge.

But common knowledge is lazy knowledge, and so often horribly wrong. This is case with the popular understanding of Jesus and the New Testament. Just as the Old Testament cannot by any sane standard be considered a collection of "holy" books, so too does the New Testament fail to present a moral philosophy that could be considered "good". News flash: The Holy Bible is not holy, and the Good Book is not good.

But let's focus on Jesus. What exactly did he teach? What did he stand for? What did the Son of God, during his short time on Earth, feel compelled to say? (My reference for the following critique is The Jefferson Bible. Thomas Jefferson literally clipped out and scrapped all passages in the New Testament regarding Jesus that involved supernatural claims or apparently flawed interpretations and made his own condensed Bible. He wanted to capture the essence-the believable essense-of Jesus's moral teachings. Here is that essence...)

Let's look at Jesus's list of does and don'ts.

• Don't divorce or marry a divorced person. Both acts equal adultery.
• Don't swear-its evil.
• Don't resist or turn away from evil. Do be submissive to it and welcome further evil.
• Give more than is asked...give to those who take. Give more than is expected.
• Love your enemies. Bless them, do good to them, and pray for them.
• Don't hope for or expect any reward for your good work.
• Be merciful.
• Don't do your good work or pay alms in front of others in a way that is showing off.
• Do not use vain repetitions
• Forgive your debtors.
• Forgive men's trespasses.
• Don't lay up treasures on Earth...prepare for Heaven instead.
• Fill your eyes, your heart with light, not darkness.
• Only serve one master.
• Get Baptized.
• Don't be rich.
• Don't be full, unless you want to hunger.
• Don't laugh because you'll end up mourning and weeping.
• Don't get a big head when people talk well of you.
• Don't loose your flavor, or else you're good for nothing. ("salt of the earth..")
• Do good works so that others can see and glorify God.
• Obey the Halakha (the Jewish Law) until "fulfillment" (of prophecy?).
• Be more righteous than the Pharisees or scribes if you want to enter Heaven.
• Do not be angry without a cause.
• Do not call someone a "fool", or you may burn in hell.
• Reconcile your grievances before sacrificing at the alter.
• Agree with adversaries quickly so you may avoid being thrown in prison.
• Do not look lustfully at women. This is adultery.
• Do not allow a single part of yourself to do evil. Rather, cut that part off if necessary.
• Do not think or worry about your survival. God will provide. Seek the kingdom first.
• Don't judge, unless you're willing to be judged accordingly.
• Deal with your own problems before pointing out others.
• Do not let the holy to be desecrated by the unworthy.
• Stay on the straight and narrow path to salvation.
• Do not say idle words.
• Do unto others as you'd have them do to you.
• Do not say in secret what you don't want heard in public.
• Fear God.
• Sell your worldly items, give alms, and seek the Kingdom of Heaven.
• Always be ready for the coming of the Son of Man. Don't be slothful.
• Repent!
• Don't be self righteous or arrogant. Don't exalt yourself.
• Don't love status.
• If you commit yourself to a mission, to Jesus, leave all family matters behind.
• Be as humble as a child.
• Do not offend a "little one". You'd be better off dead.
• Do worship instead of accomplishing chores...
• Don't sell things in holy places.
• Pay taxes (if the money is that of the government/ruler).

Well, that's about 50 specific things Jesus wants you to do or don't do. Its kind of amazing when you think about it. All of Christianity, in all its various forms, derives most of its doctrine from these 49 points. Sure, there's the Old Testament, but other than the 10 Commandments and lessons about obedience, Christians pull little from that largest first "half" of the Bible. We already know that the Old Testament is a bad joke (read the story of Job and his daughters). The morality of Jesus isn't as blatantly absurd or offensive. In fact, we've gotten so accustomed to it, at first it might seem impossible to turn a critical eye towards his words. Let's try nevertheless:

Divorce is adultery, eh? So Jesus says. Unfortunately, most of the civilized world, including Christians disagrees...or at least they ignore the fact. I wonder if any of you can imagine how readily a theocracy might insert the commandment "though shalt not divorce" into its constitution. And I wonder how many of you can imagine how horrible such a law and its enforcement might be.

Don't swear. I never understood why swearing was such a big deal to God. I guess I need to be schooled on the subject. I can understand that swearing is, in a sense, a prideful or hateful thing; but if so, its still quite mild. More often than not, swearing (in both the four letter word way and the bold claim/promise way) is a mere expression-just another tool in our vocabulary to share our feelings.

Jesus admonishes us to "turn the other cheek" when evil strikes. I like the way he's thinking, but it doesn't make practical sense. Yes, by all means do not return violence with violence, like in a school yard confrontation. Please, take the high ground. But Jesus's rule quickly seems absurd when the stakes are raised. Someone kills your daughter....so you say, go ahead, kill my other daughter....??? Really?? Someone breaks your left leg....so you implore him to break the right one??? I don't think so. This rule sounds nice, but its actually quite stupid.

So what's wrong with being "rich"? According to Jesus, its the easiest (and most luxurious) way to be stopped at Heaven's gate and denied entry. Surely, having lots of money means you are not charitable...or does it? Ask Bill and Melinda Gates. Ok then, having a lot of money means you have some money-any money-to spare, and this, apparently, is not OK with God. If you have any extra money, any luxury at all, you are to blame for the poverty and misery of others who have less. This is what it seems Jesus is saying. What else could he be saying? Republicans had better be happy the only ones they have to worry about are the whimpy Democrats and sneaky Socialists. If Christians were true to their religion, wealth would never accumulate in any one hand. Conservatives worst fears would come true and we'd really have a welfare nation. (And what is "rich", really? Say you've got a village full of lazy people who do nothing to improve their malnourished bodies and dirty lifestyles. And say you've got one family in the village that works hard to gain a little bit of health and comfort for themselves. They build a modest home, have a well for water, and grow some of their own food in a garden. Compared to the rest of the village, they are rich. In walks Jesus and declares that it will be harder for this "rich" family to enter heaven than walk through the eye of a needle. C'mon Jesus! Don't be a douche!

Love your enemies. Pray for them. Do good to them. Bless them. Right. Again, I like the "spirit" of Jesus's teaching here. And its practical in the sense that so long as your enemy isn't REALLY harming you (maybe just annoying you), its much better for your mental and physical health to replace hate with love and forgiveness. In reality, an enemy is called an enemy for a reason. Usually an "enemy" is someone who is actively trying to hurt, hinder, or kill you. Jesus's words are empty, useless, and unwise when it comes to dealing with real life enemies doing real harm.

When Jesus talks about not expecting a reward for our good work, he uses the analogy of a servant doing work for his master (we are the servant, our master is God). He said that a good servant just goes about doing what is expected of him...and a good master doesn't find anything worthy of praise or reward in the servants actions. He IS a servant after all. In Jesus's story, "servant" seems to be synonymous with "slave". We ARE slaves after all. We are supposed to do God's will; not because he's going to reward us, but because it is simply who we are, its what we do. It may have been acceptable to make this comparison, long, long ago when slavery still existed or workers rights had not yet been dreamt of. But I'd wager a bet that most of us today are not comfortable with the idea that we were meant to be servants or slaves for all of eternity. Anyway, I think its fair to find greater meaning/purpose to Jesus's command about not expecting a reward for our good work. After all, good work should be a reward in an of itself. And of course it's not a nice feeling living in constant expectation of some reward. Its far healthier to live in the moment, to enjoy one's work. Too bad Jesus doesn't explain it this way. Unfortunately, there's a lot he doesn't explain.

Be merciful. This is a good one. Its good because, well, it truly IS good advice. Who would argue that we shouldn't be merciful? And its good (funny/interesting) because, #2 it implies that we have the choice, the potential, to be cruel. Keep in mind Jesus is not saying specifically "be kind". He tells us to be merciful...to have mercy. He tells the story of the good Samaritan who didn't just walk past the beaten and broken man on the side of road-he actually helped. Well pardon me, Jesus, but cruelty is not even a consideration for most of us. And denying mercy to someone in desperate need isn't in the cards either. Being merciful is not difficult. Yes its good, but its also natural, I'd argue. ...I don't like what your implying about us, Jesus.