Was Jesus Good?, Part 2

Let's take another look at Jesus's list of does and don'ts, as pulled from the Jefferson Bible.

• Don't divorce or marry a divorced person. Both acts equal adultery.
• Don't swear-its evil.
• Don't resist or turn away from evil. Do be submissive to it and welcome further evil.
• Give more than is asked...give to those who take. Give more than is expected.
• Love your enemies. Bless them, do good to them, and pray for them.
• Don't hope for or expect any reward for your good work.
• Be merciful.
• Don't do your good work or pay alms in front of others in a way that is showing off.
• Do not use vain repetitions
• Forgive your debtors.
• Forgive men's trespasses.
• Don't lay up treasures on Earth...prepare for Heaven instead.
• Fill your eyes, your heart with light, not darkness.
• Only serve one master.
• Get Baptized.
• Don't be rich.
• Don't be full, unless you want to hunger.
• Don't laugh because you'll end up mourning and weeping.
• Don't get a big head when people talk well of you.
• Don't loose your flavor, or else you're good for nothing. ("salt of the earth..")
• Do good works so that others can see and glorify God.
• Obey the Halakha (the Jewish Law) until "fulfillment" (of prophecy?).
• Be more righteous than the Pharisees or scribes if you want to enter Heaven.
• Do not be angry without a cause.
• Do not call someone a "fool", or you may burn in hell.
• Reconcile your grievances before sacrificing at the alter.
• Agree with adversaries quickly so you may avoid being thrown in prison.
• Do not look lustfully at women. This is adultery.
• Do not allow a single part of yourself to do evil. Rather, cut that part off if necessary.
• Do not think or worry about your survival. God will provide. Seek the kingdom first.
• Don't judge, unless you're willing to be judged accordingly.
• Deal with your own problems before pointing out others.
• Do not let the holy to be desecrated by the unworthy.
• Stay on the straight and narrow path to salvation.
• Do not say idle words.
• Do unto others as you'd have them do to you.
• Do not say in secret what you don't want heard in public.
• Fear God.
• Sell your worldly items, give alms, and seek the Kingdom of Heaven.
• Always be ready for the coming of the Son of Man. Don't be slothful.
• Repent!
• Don't be self righteous or arrogant. Don't exalt yourself.
• Don't love status.
• If you commit yourself to a mission, to Jesus, leave all family matters behind.
• Be as humble as a child.
• Do not offend a "little one". You'd be better off dead.
• Do worship instead of accomplishing chores...
• Don't sell things in holy places.
• Pay taxes (if the money is that of the government/ruler).

In Part 1 of "Was Jesus Good?", I critiqued the first seven of these admonishments. Let's continue down the list.

Don't be a show off. There's no doubt that the Judaeo Christian god is concerned with both character and appearances. For example, he likes his servants humble. He doesn't want them showing off or bragging about their good work. Its pretty obvious when you read the Bible-God is a selfish god. Glory matters to him. If anyone is going to brag or show off, its him. Also, the "goodness" of his harvest (harvest=us during judgement) matters to him. He's not going to take any weeds (the sinners) up to heaven with him. But are preferential good (what appeals to God) and implied good (whatever he says makes us deserving of heaven) in any way related to a broader morality? Someone could say, "I like my girlfriend to be submissive", but this in no way qualifies submissiveness as universally good. Someone could also say that in order to get into his exclusive club; you had to perform a set of specific rituals, prove your loyalty, and possess certain qualities (like an above average IQ and vocabulary). Navy Seal hopefuls are put through a series of rigorous tests so that the weak are weeded out and only the best candidates make the cut. Does meeting requirements equal being good? Short answer, yes....if being good is achieving the standards as set by someone else. In this sense, "goodness" is immensely arbitrary. Personally, I don't know if there's anything wrong with this conclusion. It may be accurate. I certainly don't believe in a universal goodness that transcends the meaning and judgement assigned to it by humans. But in opposition to goodness decreed by any single god, person, or book, I propose a goodness that can be accepted by the most number of people. And there is no extreme final assessment of this good-it is in a constant state of evaluation and evolution.

Well, that was a slight tangent. In conclusion, I think the command, "don't show off your good works" is not obviously "good". If anything, it demonstrates the arbitrariness of the morality of the Bible.

Do not use vain repetitions. Interesting. Interesting because when I think of "vain repetitions", I immediately think of religious prayers and chants. While Catholicism is the obvious example, its not like other Christian sects go out of their way to avoid boring repetition. At any rate, my guess is that this was merely a reformist idea Jesus had. It was appealed to moderate Jews and gentiles and pissed of orthodox Jews.

Chants and repetitive prayers are obnoxious, and to the "thinking man" (a new kind of person in that age, living in a more educated, cosmopolitan society) they can be offensive. When tracts are repeated often, their emotional impact is weakened and the speaker can loose track of whatever significant meaning they hold. And that's no good. I'm pro-thinking and feeling, and if this is what Jesus was getting at, I'm picking up what he is putting down.

But is using vain repetitions an immoral act? Yes, if immorality is defined as whatever Jesus doesn't like. No, if immorality is understood as acts that have clear, substantial harmful affects on humans.

Forgive your debtors. Do you mean forgive the debt of your debtors, Jesus? If so, I don't get it. Why not just come out and say "share everything"? Actually....Jesus does seem to say this on multiple occasions. I'm not about to dive into the complexity of economics on this blog; but I will say that pure communism doesn't appear to be a practical, workable theory. I'm not sure Jesus was really qualified to make a serious statement on the matter either...

More likely, Jesus is advising us to, well, "forgive our debtors". I understand what a loan is. Its a simple business arrangement. I really don't understand how forgiveness enters into the scenario. In theory, there shouldn't a whole lot of drama involved when someone loans money or the debtor pays it back. Acquiring a loan is not an offense...

Ok, I'm a moron. Just looked up "debtor" in the dictionary and one definition is simply "sinner" or "trespasser". Let's think about this again.

Jesus could have just said "forgive." THIS is an excellent piece of advice. Whenever possible, we should forgive those who have offended us or done us harm...but not, perhaps, those who are actively doing us harm (there's still the problem of practicality, of real world application). I have no doubt that resentment and hatred only cause greater harm for both the hated and the hater. Where would we be if no one ever forgave? Probably still living in caves. So I give Jesus kudos for this. My only criticism is that its almost too easy-of course forgiveness is good!.

Forgive men's trespasses. See above. I think forgiveness is not enough, however. There should be something proactive a person can do to help prevent trespasses in the first place. So, what might that be? Education, for one. Creating and supporting the rule of law. Teaching morals like "do unto others as you would have them do to you." Again, kudos on that last one, Jesus.

Don't store up treasures on Earth-prepare instead for treasures in Heaven. Yeah, I've got a problem with this-bet you would have never guessed. Treasures in Heaven?? What Heaven? Unlike Jesus, I think NOW is IT. And this moment is leading into more moments that are all the moments we are going to get. There's nothing more after this life. But don't fret. Life CAN be good. We CAN have hope that happiness and satisfaction will be ours, if they're not already. But they won't be if we don't live for today...or tomorrow...or any of the other days we have in THIS life. DO store up treasures on Earth, and PLEASE live for today. You'll be glad you did when you're on your death bed.

Fill your eyes and heart with light, not darkness. This is nice. Poetic. I like light. Darkness can be scary. Well, too much light can be uncomfortable, painful, and lead to macular degeneration. But seriously, what is Jesus saying? I get it, but can we communicate what he's saying in even plainer language? "Light", I understand as positivism, kindness, openness, awareness.... A believer might add "righteousness" or the influence/presence of God. I firmly believe in this concept-that there are mindsets that are positive and mindsets that are less positive. And I believe that these kinds of mindsets can be obtained or lost at will. Sure, more often our moods and our mental states (active and bright or sluggish and dark) are affected by forces outside our control; but if that's true, these instances don't deserve much of our thought. What is worthy of further contemplation is the subject of HOW we can become "brighter" cognitively and emotionally.

Brownie points to Jesus for broaching the subject. Still, Jesus, you've got a whole lot of work to do with you want to catch up to Oprah in this category.

Only serve one master. Hrm. How about, "Serve no master"? Ever consider that one, Jesus? Ok, ok, I accept that, hypothetically speaking, there could be a person FAR wiser than myself who I'd happily defer judgement to and even "obey" in certain situations. Even then, I doubt I would call him "master".

Try as I might, I cannot pursue a line of thought regarding this subject because I instantly get snagged on the terms "serve" and "master". I don't "serve" a "master" and I don't think anyone should. What if "serve" is replaced with "controlled by" and "master" is replaced with "anything/anyone"? Its still nonsense. No one should be controlled by anything, let alone any two things. THIS would be some good advice, I guess. Don't do drugs-you'll become addicted, they'll become your "master". Don't check out too much porn-you'll get addicted and it'll be your "master" (...you masturbater you ;-). Whatever.

Get Baptized. Right. Because....? I can't begin to take religious ritual seriously. Until, maybe, I'm highly offended by it. So, we're all sinners huh? And we need this water (real or symbolic) to cleanse our souls? I'm sorry if I can't accept this. Please, someone convince me of my original sin...without quoting the Bible.

Don't be Rich. Covered this last time. "Rich" is relative, really. I actually think that having a lot of material things that enrich your life is a quite good. I'm a materialist in the classic sense. I believe health and happiness are helped by technology and material goods. Plumbing, anyone? Refrigerators? Microwaves? Phones? Sure, we could all live in caves, spear our dinner every night, tell stories by the fire, AND be healthy, happy individuals. Sure, happiness has as much to do with one's ability to accept their current condition and to make the most of it as it does to do with the material goods in one's possession. But let's not demonize a single thing that helps, be it matches, jet skis, or luxury automobiles. The real demons are pain and misery. How can we overcome these, Jesus?

Don't be full, don't laugh, don't get a big head, and don't loose your "flavor". Jesus seems to be very resentful of those who have what they need to enjoy life. Its disturbing, if you think about it. Why would God glorify humility, pain, and poverty? Why would he disdain satisfaction, pleasure, and pride? I think the fact that these questions seem mildly absurd (aren't the answers self evident?) is evidence of our cultural/religious indoctrination. When negative things are deemed positive and positive things declared sins, a red flag should instantly go up-something is not right. I'm not arguing that humility is not a good state of mind to possess. I happen to believe it's healthy. "Healthy", in this case, means "conducive to happiness". But while humility often leads to a content mind and body, pride also has a roll to play in our day to day struggle for happiness. I think THIS is self evident. Why didn't Jesus help us manage our pride and our humility as tools to achieve happiness? Why just resentment of the rich and love of the poor?

I can't imagine that Jesus would actually have a problem with laughter, but it sure seems that way when you read a couple of passages in The Bible. Maybe he was referring to laughing AT others...? Since Jesus's intent wasn't clear in the passage, we're obligated to go with the most literal interpretation-laughter es no bueno. I don't know who could possibly subscribe to such a notion, except perhaps a strict ruler wielding nun.

And now we come to the idea that humans are "the salt of the earth". I'm sure Bible scholars and preachers could go on and on and on about this metaphor. Well, I know they have. The problem is these scholars and preachers are slightly biased individuals who specialize in producing embellished interpretations of scripture in order to pull them out of the depths of absurdity and lift them into the heights of divine wisdom. They make them palatable for popular consumption. But there's something to be said for an uneducated, literal interpretation of scripture. While I'm more likely to get it all wrong or to be laughed out of a room full of those who know better, at least I'm taking the more honest approach and letting the scriptures stand up on their own "legs".

Right. We are "the salt of the Earth". Jesus tells us that salt which looses its saltiness is good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled upon. So, if we loose our "saltiness", if we loose our flavor (?), if we stop being interesting or diverse or good (??), we are good for nothing (???). Whichever way the scripture is interpreted, its clear that God wants us to have certain qualities; and if we don't, if we loose our special qualities, we are good for nothing, we are worthless, and what's more, we're so worthless that we deserve to be "trampled" upon. If this sounds harsh its because it is. But its completely accurate and in keeping with everything else Jesus said. In another passage, he compares humanity to a field of good crops and weeds. Those of us who aren't good crops are the weeds, destined to be pulled from the ground and thrown into the fire. This is serious stuff. At its core, Christian doctrine mirrors Nazism in its devaluation of human life and its promise of destruction to all who are not of the right kind. Allowed continued legitimacy into the indefinite future, Christianity will likely produce similar atrocities. No matter how charitable and loving and kind and intelligent today's Christians surely are, Christianity itself is rooted to its "holy" book-a book that harbors evil notions which could one day set in motion horrors on a global scale.

Was Jesus Good? Part 1

Was Jesus good? "Yes, of course, don't be silly!" I can hear Christians and non-Christians respond in kind. I've heard it so often. Even those who blatantly deny the Son of God's divinity tend to quickly hail the goodness of his teachings. Its like they want to demonstrate their open-mindedness and knowledge regarding the topic of Jesus the man. Yes, Jesus was one of histories greatest moral teachers, they say matter-of-factly. If it wasn't for Jesus, love, charity, and peace would have never gotten a foothold in a violent world full of selfish people. This, apparently, is common knowledge.

But common knowledge is lazy knowledge, and so often horribly wrong. This is case with the popular understanding of Jesus and the New Testament. Just as the Old Testament cannot by any sane standard be considered a collection of "holy" books, so too does the New Testament fail to present a moral philosophy that could be considered "good". News flash: The Holy Bible is not holy, and the Good Book is not good.

But let's focus on Jesus. What exactly did he teach? What did he stand for? What did the Son of God, during his short time on Earth, feel compelled to say? (My reference for the following critique is The Jefferson Bible. Thomas Jefferson literally clipped out and scrapped all passages in the New Testament regarding Jesus that involved supernatural claims or apparently flawed interpretations and made his own condensed Bible. He wanted to capture the essence-the believable essense-of Jesus's moral teachings. Here is that essence...)

Let's look at Jesus's list of does and don'ts.

• Don't divorce or marry a divorced person. Both acts equal adultery.
• Don't swear-its evil.
• Don't resist or turn away from evil. Do be submissive to it and welcome further evil.
• Give more than is asked...give to those who take. Give more than is expected.
• Love your enemies. Bless them, do good to them, and pray for them.
• Don't hope for or expect any reward for your good work.
• Be merciful.
• Don't do your good work or pay alms in front of others in a way that is showing off.
• Do not use vain repetitions
• Forgive your debtors.
• Forgive men's trespasses.
• Don't lay up treasures on Earth...prepare for Heaven instead.
• Fill your eyes, your heart with light, not darkness.
• Only serve one master.
• Get Baptized.
• Don't be rich.
• Don't be full, unless you want to hunger.
• Don't laugh because you'll end up mourning and weeping.
• Don't get a big head when people talk well of you.
• Don't loose your flavor, or else you're good for nothing. ("salt of the earth..")
• Do good works so that others can see and glorify God.
• Obey the Halakha (the Jewish Law) until "fulfillment" (of prophecy?).
• Be more righteous than the Pharisees or scribes if you want to enter Heaven.
• Do not be angry without a cause.
• Do not call someone a "fool", or you may burn in hell.
• Reconcile your grievances before sacrificing at the alter.
• Agree with adversaries quickly so you may avoid being thrown in prison.
• Do not look lustfully at women. This is adultery.
• Do not allow a single part of yourself to do evil. Rather, cut that part off if necessary.
• Do not think or worry about your survival. God will provide. Seek the kingdom first.
• Don't judge, unless you're willing to be judged accordingly.
• Deal with your own problems before pointing out others.
• Do not let the holy to be desecrated by the unworthy.
• Stay on the straight and narrow path to salvation.
• Do not say idle words.
• Do unto others as you'd have them do to you.
• Do not say in secret what you don't want heard in public.
• Fear God.
• Sell your worldly items, give alms, and seek the Kingdom of Heaven.
• Always be ready for the coming of the Son of Man. Don't be slothful.
• Repent!
• Don't be self righteous or arrogant. Don't exalt yourself.
• Don't love status.
• If you commit yourself to a mission, to Jesus, leave all family matters behind.
• Be as humble as a child.
• Do not offend a "little one". You'd be better off dead.
• Do worship instead of accomplishing chores...
• Don't sell things in holy places.
• Pay taxes (if the money is that of the government/ruler).

Well, that's about 50 specific things Jesus wants you to do or don't do. Its kind of amazing when you think about it. All of Christianity, in all its various forms, derives most of its doctrine from these 49 points. Sure, there's the Old Testament, but other than the 10 Commandments and lessons about obedience, Christians pull little from that largest first "half" of the Bible. We already know that the Old Testament is a bad joke (read the story of Job and his daughters). The morality of Jesus isn't as blatantly absurd or offensive. In fact, we've gotten so accustomed to it, at first it might seem impossible to turn a critical eye towards his words. Let's try nevertheless:

Divorce is adultery, eh? So Jesus says. Unfortunately, most of the civilized world, including Christians disagrees...or at least they ignore the fact. I wonder if any of you can imagine how readily a theocracy might insert the commandment "though shalt not divorce" into its constitution. And I wonder how many of you can imagine how horrible such a law and its enforcement might be.

Don't swear. I never understood why swearing was such a big deal to God. I guess I need to be schooled on the subject. I can understand that swearing is, in a sense, a prideful or hateful thing; but if so, its still quite mild. More often than not, swearing (in both the four letter word way and the bold claim/promise way) is a mere expression-just another tool in our vocabulary to share our feelings.

Jesus admonishes us to "turn the other cheek" when evil strikes. I like the way he's thinking, but it doesn't make practical sense. Yes, by all means do not return violence with violence, like in a school yard confrontation. Please, take the high ground. But Jesus's rule quickly seems absurd when the stakes are raised. Someone kills your daughter....so you say, go ahead, kill my other daughter....??? Really?? Someone breaks your left leg....so you implore him to break the right one??? I don't think so. This rule sounds nice, but its actually quite stupid.

So what's wrong with being "rich"? According to Jesus, its the easiest (and most luxurious) way to be stopped at Heaven's gate and denied entry. Surely, having lots of money means you are not charitable...or does it? Ask Bill and Melinda Gates. Ok then, having a lot of money means you have some money-any money-to spare, and this, apparently, is not OK with God. If you have any extra money, any luxury at all, you are to blame for the poverty and misery of others who have less. This is what it seems Jesus is saying. What else could he be saying? Republicans had better be happy the only ones they have to worry about are the whimpy Democrats and sneaky Socialists. If Christians were true to their religion, wealth would never accumulate in any one hand. Conservatives worst fears would come true and we'd really have a welfare nation. (And what is "rich", really? Say you've got a village full of lazy people who do nothing to improve their malnourished bodies and dirty lifestyles. And say you've got one family in the village that works hard to gain a little bit of health and comfort for themselves. They build a modest home, have a well for water, and grow some of their own food in a garden. Compared to the rest of the village, they are rich. In walks Jesus and declares that it will be harder for this "rich" family to enter heaven than walk through the eye of a needle. C'mon Jesus! Don't be a douche!

Love your enemies. Pray for them. Do good to them. Bless them. Right. Again, I like the "spirit" of Jesus's teaching here. And its practical in the sense that so long as your enemy isn't REALLY harming you (maybe just annoying you), its much better for your mental and physical health to replace hate with love and forgiveness. In reality, an enemy is called an enemy for a reason. Usually an "enemy" is someone who is actively trying to hurt, hinder, or kill you. Jesus's words are empty, useless, and unwise when it comes to dealing with real life enemies doing real harm.

When Jesus talks about not expecting a reward for our good work, he uses the analogy of a servant doing work for his master (we are the servant, our master is God). He said that a good servant just goes about doing what is expected of him...and a good master doesn't find anything worthy of praise or reward in the servants actions. He IS a servant after all. In Jesus's story, "servant" seems to be synonymous with "slave". We ARE slaves after all. We are supposed to do God's will; not because he's going to reward us, but because it is simply who we are, its what we do. It may have been acceptable to make this comparison, long, long ago when slavery still existed or workers rights had not yet been dreamt of. But I'd wager a bet that most of us today are not comfortable with the idea that we were meant to be servants or slaves for all of eternity. Anyway, I think its fair to find greater meaning/purpose to Jesus's command about not expecting a reward for our good work. After all, good work should be a reward in an of itself. And of course it's not a nice feeling living in constant expectation of some reward. Its far healthier to live in the moment, to enjoy one's work. Too bad Jesus doesn't explain it this way. Unfortunately, there's a lot he doesn't explain.

Be merciful. This is a good one. Its good because, well, it truly IS good advice. Who would argue that we shouldn't be merciful? And its good (funny/interesting) because, #2 it implies that we have the choice, the potential, to be cruel. Keep in mind Jesus is not saying specifically "be kind". He tells us to be merciful...to have mercy. He tells the story of the good Samaritan who didn't just walk past the beaten and broken man on the side of road-he actually helped. Well pardon me, Jesus, but cruelty is not even a consideration for most of us. And denying mercy to someone in desperate need isn't in the cards either. Being merciful is not difficult. Yes its good, but its also natural, I'd argue. ...I don't like what your implying about us, Jesus.