According to the Bible....

According to the Bible, in the book of Numbers...

God made Moses perform a census of his own people. Apparently, God cared enough to count the children of Israel, but he could not-or would not- do it himself; and the job still wasn't quite important enough to him to count each and every individual, because the final tallies are rounded off to the nearest tenth or hundredth.

God commanded that any "outsider" who came near the tabernacle should be put to death. (Num. 1:51)

God tasked the sons of Kohath with the job of carrying the "sanctuary" and all of its furnishings whenever the Israelites moved their settlement. It was a tricky job. If any of them saw or touched any holy thing (which includes just about everything in the tabernacle), they would die.

If a man suspects his wife of cheating on him, she can be presented before a priest who will prepare a special curse for her. If she is innocent of the charge of adultery, the cursed potion will have no affect. If she is guilty, "her belly will swell, her thigh will rot, and the woman will become a curse among her people." This is "the law of jealousy". (Num, Chptr 5)

If one does not bring an offering to the Lord on passover, he shall be cut off from among his people.

God does not trust Moses to work out the logistics of warfare. God tells Moses how he ought to indicate to his different camps when they must move out (blow the horns once for the eastern camp, blow them twice for the western camp...that sort of thing). Also, God micromanages the duties of carrying each individual part of the tabernacle.

God became a little angry when the Israelites complained about being hungry. He burnt some of them to death on the outskirts of the settlement. (Numb 11:1)

When folks were so hungry they wept, God became angry, but promised to provide more meat than they could eat for a month. There was a catch, however. He sent quail to the camp and people had to scurry around to trap them. After the quail were caught and eaten, God cursed the people with a plague. That's what they get for complaining....

Because Aaron and others spoke against Moses, the Lord became angry and turned Miriam (not Aaron, mind you) into a leper. Moses begged God to heal her. God agreed to, but only after she suffered for seven days. The Lord said that he "spit in her face". (Numb 12:8+)

Apparently, God could not or would not provide Moses with information regarding their enemies. He had Moses pick some of his best men to spy on the Canaanites. Their duty was to find out what the land and people of Canaan were like. Was the land forested? Were the people strong or weak? Important information like that...

When the Israelites rebelled against Moses and sought out a leader who would take them back to Egypt, God became so angry he nearly wiped them all out in one stroke. Moses barely convinced God to stay his hand. Still, the Lord swore to kill all the Israelites who "complained against" him. He took back his promise of delivering them to a promised land flowing with milk and honey. He extended that promise only to the children of Caleb and Joshua.

The aforementioned rebellion occurred when the spies came back and told everyone of the wealth and power of their Canaanite opponents. Evidently, the spies told the truth, but since the truth demoralized the people and caused them to rebel, the spies were killed by god.

God commanded the congregation to stone to death a man who was found gathering sticks on the Sabbath. (Num 15:36)

God caused the ground to open up and swallow a group of men who challenged Moses's authority. He then killed 250 people who were with them.

God immediately sent a plague among the people, killing 14,700, after they charged Moses with killing holy people (those who were swallowed up by the earth).

When the people complained about not having water, he had Moses strike a rock with his staff, causing abundant water to flow out of it. But with God things are not always so easy. He accused Moses and Aaron of not believing that he could make water come from the rock. As punishment, he denies the people access to the land. (Num 20)

And, at "the waters of Meribah", God thought that Aaron had "rebelled against My word", so he sent Aaron away back to his people in the mountains, where he died.

God caused the Israelites to utterly destroy Canaanite cities.

Again, the Israelites complained about their suffering-their wandering in the desert-so God sent fiery serpents among the people. Many were killed. God then provided Moses with a miraculous antidote-a bronze statue of a serpent that when looked upon by those bitten, would allow them to live.

This is the Bible, Continued

If you thought Genesis and Exodus were strange, get a load of Leviticus:

The god of the the Bible does not ask for mere allegiance and honor from his followers. There are extremely complex procedures which God expects to be followed when anyone wants their sins atoned, or wishes to worship god with a sacrifice/offering.

For example, when one sins against God, one must bring a 1) male bovine 2) without blemish to 3) the front door of the tabernacle for sacrifice. 4) It must be offered of the owners own free will. The sacrifice must begin by 5) placing a hand on the animals head before 6) killing it (surely, by cutting its throat). The animals blood 7) must be sprinkled 8) by the door. Next, it 8) is to be skinned and 9) cut into pieces. The priest would then 10) lay the pieces on the fire, being sure to 11) arrange the head and fat in order on the fire alter. The legs and entrails 12) are to be washed with wather before the sacrifice 13) burnt.

This is just one of dozens of ceremonies with hundreds of specific requirements spelled out in the book of Leviticus. If you're really really bored, go ahead and read the rest of Leviticus for yourself. The Bible's focus on the minutia of sacrifice, "law & justice", and "medicine" is indicative of a God with all kinds of unhealthy psychological issues.

Leviticus Chapter 5
You have sinned if you:

• Do not tell on a person who utters an oath...?
• Unknowingly touch an unclean thing/carcass
• After unknowingly touching "human uncleanelyness", you realize you did...?
• As soon as you realize that you spoke an oath or swore.
• Lie to a neighbor about a pledge or a robbery.
• Lie about something that was lost.
• Eat blood. It must be poored out and covered with dust if the animal is caught during hunting.
• Get a tatoo
• Are a psychic/medium
  

You shall be cut off from your people if you:

• eat of a sacrifice/peace offering
• touch any unclean thing
• eat the fat of a sacrificial animal
• kill an animal away from the tabernacle door (levit 17)
• have homosexual or animal sex
• uncover the nakedness of a relative
• have sex with a woman during her period
  

These are things the God's chosen people CAN eat:

• Animals with cloven feet that chew cud
• Animals that live in water and have scales and fins
• Locusts, crickets, and grasshoppers

These are things that God's chosen people CAN'T eat:

• The fat of oxen, sheep, goats, or animal that dies naturally
• Camel, Rock Hyrax, Hare, Pig
• Animals that live in water but do not have scales or fins
• Eagles, Vultures, Buzzards, Kites, Falcons, Raven, Ostrich, Owl, Seagull, Hawk, Stork, Heron, Hoopoe, and Bat
• All flying insects with 4 feet without jointed legs to leap
• "Whatever goes on its paws on all fours."
• Mole, Mouse, Large Lizards, Gecko, Chameleon
• What creeps on the earth on its belly or on all fours

Women are "unclean" for 7 days after giving birth to a boy-14 days if its a female. She must give a burnt offering at the end of her unclean period.

Leviticus 10
God caused Aaron's (one of his chosen servants, next to Moses) 2 sons to burn to death for the crime of creating a "profane fire"...?

Leviticus 15:19
A woman is "unclean" during her period and for 7 days afterwards. During this time she must be set apart from others and cannot touch anything or else she makes it "unclean" as well. A sacrifice must be offered to a priest at the end of this time.

God commands that anyone who "gives any of his descendents to Molech" shall be stoned.
Those who do not stone this person shall be cut off.

It is not as bad to have sex with a man's concubine as it is to have sex with his wife.

Adulturers "shall surely be put to death".

Those who have sex with animals will be put to death, as will the animal.

Those who have sex with their father's wife shall be put to death.

If one marries both a woman and her mother, he (or all) shall be burnt to death.\

If one is a medium, has spirits, then that person shall be stoned to death.

A priest may not marry a defiled or divorced woman-only a virgin.

The daughter of a priest who "plays a harlot" shall be burnt with fire.

"Defective" people may not make a blood offering.

Those who blaspheme the name of the lord, even strangers, will be stoned.

God will fuck you up royally if you disobey and continue to disobey (levit chpt 26).