Tuesday, July 03, 2007

True Stories From The Bible; or, This is Your Bible, Part II

Whether or not you have cut off a flap of skin from your penis is of the utmost importance to your creator. Gen 17; 14. God will refuse to be your god if you are not circumcised.

God's aim is off, or else he purposely fires indiscriminately. God's wrath was sent down upon the city of Sodom in the form of fire and brimstone. The only righteous family living there was allowed to escape....except, inadvertently, Lot's wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt. Gen 19:26.

Gen 19:33 God does not intervene or express objection when the daughters of Lot decide to rape their own father. These girls, who were two of the three people God let escape his slaughter in Sodom, decided to get their father drunk and take turns having intercourse with him so that his "seed" would be preserved.

Gen 20 God threatens to kill people and closes the wombs of women even if they don't do anything wrong. God admitted that the king of Gerar did not know that Sarah was Abraham's wife, and despite the fact that the king did not sleep with her, God nearly killed him and his people anyway.

Gen 21:9 Sarah, the wife of God's chosen one, Abraham, had Abraham's mistress and son "cast out" so that there would be no rival to her son Isaac for heir. "Casting out" involves being left for dead, I presume.

Gen 22 God demands blind, unquestioning obedience. He blessed Abraham when Abraham prepared to and fully intended to stab his son and burn him on an alter in response to God's command. Just as Abraham was about to kill his own son, God told him it was all a test-God must not be so cruel after all, just ask Lot's wife...

Gen 24:58 The wife of Isaac-Abraham's son and a man blessed abundantly by God-did not even meet the man she would marry before agreeing to marry him.

Gen 25:6 Abraham, one of God's chosen, had concubines and many son's by them. Abraham gave them gifts and sent them away. Abraham was essentially worse than a polygamist.

Gen 25:31 & 27:14 Jakob, son of Isaac, and the chosen heir of Abraham, refused to feed his starving brother until his brother agreed to sell him his birthright. Later, Jakob lied to his own father in order to receive blessing that were meant for Jakob's brother.

Gen 29-30 Jacob's wives enlist their servants to have sex with and bear children by Jacob in order to win Jacob's love and attention.

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