Rejoice! Oh Ye Unbelievers!!

Rejoice! Oh ye unbelievers!!

You may stay up late on Saturday night and sleep in on Sunday.

Never will there be a time when you must choose between your church and your country, between your prophet and your president.

You may eat bacon! and lots of it!!

The only person who will ask you to fast is your surgeon, and hopefully just a few times throughout your entire life.

You may spend 3 hours drinking beer and watching the game instead of eating one piece of bread and a little water while listening to a boring sermon.

Never will you be forced to choose between the dictates of your conscience and the commandments of your church.

In the future, you will spend far less time helping others move their stuff than the average church-goer.

There is no great eye in the sky watching and judging your every action, no big brother restraining your mind and body. You are free to experience the joy of true solitude, true individuality, and autonomy.

You have no reason to join either side of a crusade or holy war.

You are free to express absolutely everything you feel, from the slightest inclination to the deepest, most primordial craving. Use any word, any idea that feels right. Paint any image and sing any melody.

You may explore and experiment with fewer borders-discover potential, new feeling, new insights, and new experiences.

Think about sex, think about it all you want and in any form you fancy. And if you'd like, go do it, even if its Sunday.

Rejoice! oh yee unbelievers!!